Gender specific language

I never really got to know my mother in law. In fact, in 24 years of marriage, I think I spoke to her on the phone briefly less than 10 times. Basically answering the phone and finding my wife so she could talk to her mother.

She made it to our home in California once and I went to her home in Austria once.

Not only did we have a geographic distance between us we did also had a language barrier. I don't speak German and she doesn't speek English.

I'm sad that I'm not able to be there for my ex in her time of need.

I provided the following general status update recently...

"My ex mother in law passed away due to respiratory failure on New Years Eve in a hospital near her hometown in Salzburg, Austria. I'm VERY thankful that my daughter was able to visit her and be there with my ex a couple of weeks ago and they were able to get some closure and say their goodbyes"

This is one of those occasions where gender specific language makes things very difficult to write.