I finally came out to my brother in July 2008. Since we typically only visit a few times a year, usually Thanksgiving, Christmas and his children's birthdays, it was fairly easy to conceal the details of my transition. He had been making comments about my hair and nail length for a few years, not realizing the implications.
Once I revealed my plans to him, his initial reaction was one of the typical ones, "I thought you were going to tell me you were gay." He seemed accepting at the time, but after returning home and discussing it with his wife, it became clear that they did not want me around presenting as my true self.
Once the commitment had been made to go full time and to have surgery, that was no longer an option.
No mention from them about my November birthday. No discussion of getting together for the holidays. And no response to any of my offers to discuss the issues with he or his family.
So I spent Christmas day with some members of the local trans community at a couples home. Each of us orphaned by our families.
The nice part was that everyone there wanted to make the best of the day and therefore there was none of the typical fighting, hurt feelings or misunderstandings that frequently disrupt many family gatherings, at least the ones that I have attended, heard about or seen parodied on television sitcoms.
Because I was so recently out of surgery, everyone made a special effort to cater to my every need. The love and happiness shared by everyone for not being alone that day did a lot to brighten my spirits.
Thank you my friends for inviting me to your home to share in the celebration and remembering the true meaning and intent that the holiday is intended to represent.
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